Divorce: The New Heart Disease

Why is there such an epidemic of divorce in the modern world these days? Are people, women in particular, getting smarter and simply not putting up with the typical “crap” (ie: the difficulties of day-to-day living with any other human being in close quarters) of marriage any longer because they can conceive of other “better” possibilities? Is it this “overgrowth”/”imbalance” of mental energy that is overcoming/overwhelming our capacity for heart energy. We are encouraged to be mentally ambitious and always think of the “bigger picture”. Well, what about the smaller picture? The picture at home, right around you each day? Do we let your hearts be ambitious and try to find things to love in your surroundings?

My aunt has many wise stories, but this is a good one. When my uncle was alive, I jokingly asked her how she could stand his loud snoring each night as he slept. For this next part to make heart-sense, you need to know that my uncle had had several heart bypass operations by this stage in his life. She told me quite simply, that she loved to hear him snore, because it meant that he was still alive. Looking back, I remember when my children were just babies and how I would awaken at night in a panic because I couldn’t here them breathing. Once I was able to ascertain that they were indeed still breathing, my heart could rest once more.

When your heart fills so deeply with venom, that even the sound of your partner chewing makes you angry or annoyed, a mental shift and more importantly a heart shift (a change of heart) needs to happen. Sadly, this shift doesn’t happen for many people until they or their partner is seriously injured or near death. That is commonly when heart/mind shifts can most easily occur. If you think of it geologically, it makes sense. When there is an eruption/earthquake, it is easier to shift things than if everything is still and unmoving filled with intertia.

As an exercise, imagine that you and/or your partner is near to death (No, don’t imagine killing them!  ) or gravely ill. Perhaps, think of an end-of-the-world scenario if that helps. What would you say to them? What things would you get off your chest to make amends? Where do the hidden deposits of guilt lie? What knots of resentment, revenges and angers are harboured in your heart and do they seem important now that the end is near? If one or other of you did die, what unfinished matters of the heart might you need to come back to resolve, even as a ghost? Perhaps it’s just as easy to let all that stuff go even though no one is actually dying. Give it a try and let me know what happens.